





Happy Halloween.........
This blog is for my friends and family to get a view of my home life as I see it.

Cheese Pumpkins
| 8 | tablespoons smoked Cheddar cold pack cheese food (from 8-oz container), well chilled |
| 2 | teaspoons finely chopped peanuts |
| 4 | butter-flavored pretzel spindles or sticks, broken in half |
| 16 | tiny pieces fresh parsley leaves |
| 1. | Line small serving plate with waxed paper. Roll each level tablespoon cold pack cheese food into a ball; place on waxed paper-lined serving plate. Refrigerate 10 to 15 minutes for easier handling. |
| 2. | With end of toothpick, draw ridges around balls to resemble pumpkins. Dip bottoms of cheese balls in chopped peanuts. |
| 3. | Just before serving, insert pretzel halves into cheese balls for pumpkin stems. Decorate with parsley for leaves. Store in refrigerator. |
THESE ARE ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS
* Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
Bites.
* Free Puppies: half Cocker Spaniel, half sneaky neighbors
dog.
* Free Puppies: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
* Free German Shepherd: 85 lbs. Neutered, Speaks German.
* Found Dirty White Dog: Looks like a rat....been out a
while....better be a reward.
* Cows, Calves: Never Bred..Also 1 gay bull for sale.
* Nordic Track: $300 Hardly used..call Chubby.
* Georgia Peaches: California grown รข 89 cents lb.
* Joining Nudist Colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
* Wedding Dress For Sale: Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
AND THE BEST ONE:
For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best Offer.
No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows
everything.

Kitty Litter Cake!
CAKE INGREDIENTS:
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"
1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper
1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.
2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.
3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shapethe blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.
4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy!
Recipe of the Day
PUMPKIN COFFEE CAKE:
1/2 cup butter
3 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup sour cream
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
2 eggs
1/2 cup evaporated milk
Topping:
1/3 cup butter
1 cup sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 cup pecans (or walnuts)
Grease or spray the bottom of a 9x13 pan.
Mix together first 8 ingredients.
Pour 1/2 of the mixture in the 9x13 pan.
Prepare the pumpkin exactly like the pumpkin pie recipe on the can of pumpkin
except you only use 1/2 cup of evaporated milk Or just mix together the next 8
ingredients.
Pour all of the pumpkin mixture over the batter in the 9x13 pan.
Pour the remaining half of batter over the pumpkin (this step is a little
difficult-it's ok that the pumpkin mixes in a little with the batter) Make the
topping, put over batter.
Bake in a 325 degree over for 50-60 minutes.
Let cool completely.
How to tell where they're from by how
they drive
* One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
Chicago
* One hand on wheel, one finger out window:
New York
* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper,
foot solidly on accelerator: Boston
* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,
brick on accelerator: California.
* One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,
brick on accelerator, gun in lap: Los Angeles
* Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet
on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but
driving in California.
* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on
accelerator, head turned to talk to someone
in back seat: Italy
* One hand on latte, one knee on wheel,
cradling cell phone, foot on brake,
mind on game: Seattle
* One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle,
alternating between both feet being on the
accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a
McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male
* One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the
window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving
down the center of the road unless coming around
a blind curve, in which case they are on the left
side of the road: Texas country male
* One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view
mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair,
one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail
to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the
accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38
revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the
glove compartment: Texas female
* Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in
rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails
attached to antenna: West Virginia
* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible
above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in
the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida
| 3 oz | Sausage or finely ground beef | |
| 2 T | Oatmeal | |
| 1 | Egg | |
| Catnip finely chopped |
| Baked Rigaboney | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Serves 8 to 10 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
"THIS" side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding
"NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across
the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or
for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN :
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes,
my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken,
you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until
we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes
with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and
simple as that!
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
Chocolate Peanut Butter Dream Cookies
Estimated Times:
Preparation - 15 min | Cooking - 11 min | Cooling Time - 15 min cooling | Yields - 48 cookies (4 dozen)
You will be dreaming of these peanutty cookies in your sleep!
Ingredients:
| SHEPHERDS PIE (POOR MANS PIE) | |
1 lb. ground beef 1 can peas 1 can sweet corn 1 medium onion, diced 1/3 c. sugar 8 medium potatoes 2 c. shredded sharp cheddar cheese Boil potatoes, mash and season to taste with milk and butter. Brown ground beef and onion with salt and pepper. When cooked, add peas, corn, sugar. Let simmer until heated through. In 13x9 pan place meat and vegetable mixture in bottom of pan. Cover with mashed potatoes and sprinkle cheese on top. Place in oven on BROIL until cheese is bubbly or light brown. | |
| TAMALE PIE | |
1 box cornbread stuffing mix 1 lb. ground beef Taco seasoning mix 1 10 oz can corn 1 14 oz can chili ready tomatoes 1/2 cup chopped onion 1/2 cup chopped green pepper 1 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar/Colby cheese 1/2 large jar of picante sauce sour cream for garnish In a small bowl, prepare Cornbread Stuffing Mix and set aside. Brown ground beef with onion and green pepper and add Taco seasoning mix as per directions on pouch. Mix corn, tomatoes, cheese and picante sauce with ground beef mixture in casserole dish. Top with cornbread stuffing mix and bake at 400°F for 45 minutes. Garnish with Sour Cream. | |