Long and Winding
16 years ago
This blog is for my friends and family to get a view of my home life as I see it.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have
a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes
on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California
and mine is in Texas .
3. I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding
her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and
electric bread maker. She said "There are too many
gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her
an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the
car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too
late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of
divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't
like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked
"What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"